"Basically, I'm a mouse pimp." - P.J.

"You want the mice to have sex?" - Gretzky

"As often as possible." - P.J.

P.J. just started his first real job after college, as a research assistant for one of Paul Allen's many ventures, which really means he's trying to get mice to procreate with different genetic markers. Not really my cup of tea, but he likes it. Also, he borrowed my car this weekend and changed my oil for me, and put in a new tailight , which gives him huge bonus points in the world of little brothers. Or in any world, let's be honest.

In other news, the great Howard Schultz is talking about pursuing a suit against Bennett, and I just have to say, what an idiot for selling them in the first place. Not a fan of Starbucks at the moment. (As I drink my Starbucks chai, I'll be honest.)

K8: "he's getting married this weekend, so probably never..."

While waiting for the most important part of the Toronto wedding festivities this weekend - the t-shirts for the softball game, due to be delivered by UPS sometime today before 8 p.m., (they have 1 hour, 28 minutes, and counting) a telemarketer called to ask when Dave would be available.

Then I called to be let in, and now, no one is calling. Come on, UPS Man!! T-shirts, we need t-shirts before we can go to the Fox and the Fiddle and join the fun there...

In other news, Toronto is great. The streets are wide and the houses crazy colors - lime and yellow, water lily purple and then colors extending onto the sidewalk with fresh fruit stands every other block...Fresh peaches, tomatoes,...yum. I didn't get Tim Horton's Hot Chocolate this morning because it's not cold enough, but I think I might have to before Sunday night...And I hopped onto a bus this morning and it was so easy and took me so quickly where I wanted to go that I immediately started crafting a letter to Seattle Sound Transit in my head about how much more tourist friendly we could make Seattle's transportation system...

The UPS Man is here! Woo-hoo!! Here's to softball games at weddings!

"I'm divorcing the league. You know how Simmons is a hockey widow? I'm going to be a basketball widow." - P.J.

I'm taking a moment of silence for the Sonics and protesting yesterday's decision. If only Sherman Alexie could have saved the day.

I'm feeling pretty Over the Rhine today....particularly the first three songs from the Trumpet Child, which I print here for your enjoyment and also hopefully to encourage you to go buy their music, because they are awesome. Reading the songs isn't as good as hearing them, but it helps to imagine yourself in a smoky nightclub in a sultry dress with gentleman in black tie and ice clinking in the background. Think the bar at the Triple Door, which always makes me feel like I should be wearing real stockings and costume jewelry right out of the 40's, like Greta Garbo in Ninotchka. Or let's be honest, in any movie she made. Also, I'm enjoying McSweeney's Lists today, particularly Geometric Relationships.


I Don’t Wanna Waste Your Time
(L. Detweiler)

I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
Why should I autograph the book
That you won’t even read
I’ve got a different scar for every song
And blood left still to bleed
But I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need

I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
I love to laugh but I’m more than just
Your alcoholic clown
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around

Come on lighten up
Let me fill your cup
I’m just trying to imagine a situation
Where we might have a real conversation

But I don’t wanna waste the words
That you don’t seem to need
When it comes to wanting what’s real
There’s no such thing as greed
I hope this night puts down deep roots
I hope we plant a seed
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need


Trouble
(K. Bergquist)

If you came to make some trouble
Better make it good
Your sexy cocktail hour stubble
Is doing what it should
Looks may be sweet and subtle
I think it’s trouble honey
I think it’s good
If you came to make trouble
Make me a double honey
I think it’s good

Novices have expectations
‘Cause they think they should
Experts have their revelations
Like they knew they would
What may seem complicated
Is overstated downright misunderstood
Love will not be outdated
Maybe placated but it’s got to be good

We’re so precarious with semantics
I think this could be trouble
I think it’s trouble honey
I think it’s good
If you came to make trouble
Make me a double honey
I think it’s good

What may seem complicated
Is overstated downright misunderstood
Love will not be outdated
Maybe placated but it’s got to be good
We’re far too serious
I think we could be
Such nefarious pyromantics



I’m On A Roll
(L. Detweiler/K. Bergquist)

Black flamenco shoes
Dahlias in my hair
Garters on my stockings
The sidewalk bends to stare
I’m on a roll

Ambition may be blind
Diamonds come from coal
You provide the rhythm babe
I’ll provide the soul
I’m on a roll

This oyster is my world
My oyster’s got a pearl
This ain’t no dress rehearsal
I’m a very lucky girl
I’m on a roll

Tastes sweet on my lips
Tender on my tongue
All the road’s ahead of me
Oh the night is young
I’m on a roll

I’m on a roll
Just like I oughta
I’m on a roll
I can’t be bothered
I’m on a roll
I want the whole enchilada
I’m on a roll

Baby’s got his bullhorn
Confetti’s in the air
We’re shakin’ up Show Ponies
‘Cause we haven’t got a care
I’m on a roll

I’m on a roll
Just like I oughta
I’m on a roll
I can’t be bothered
I’m on a roll
Cincinnati to Ensenada
I’m on a roll
From the thrift store to Prada
I’m on a roll
La de dah…

ALEXIE: ".....They became my team."

MR. KELLER: Excuse me, your Honor. I hate to interrupt but maybe we could have a question.

THE COURT: That is actually the way it goes.

MS. JENSEN: I understand, your Honor.


I know I've expounded on Sherman Alexie's virtues before, but I swear to God, if the man wasn't married I'd be stalking him right now. Read the transcript from the Sonics trials that my friend Andrew posted. Alexie's frickin' hilarious, and he's a Sonics fan. Does it get any better than this?

Also, where else but in Seattle would Alexie be put on the witness stand as an expert? Let's be honest.

The PI column was also good, but not as funny as the transcript.