K8 picked "life" as her word of the year this year. And it's not quite as bad as 2006, which was definitely not our year. In fact, things in 2008 are looking decidedly up from those low points. She just got the job she's always thought she wanted. My parents' remodel might actually get finished by Christmas. Kansas might win the NCAA tournament. My little brother's graduating and is about to become a real contributing member of society. I have a date tomorrow.
But Thomas still has cancer. He's dying. It is hard to wrap my head around my friends' two year old not being here anymore.
And in January, Steven committed suicide. It will be his birthday on Monday. It's hard to know how best to celebrate someone you loved but who isn't here anymore by choice.
It's that thing Professor Thorpe used to say, when we read all these wonderfully depressing great works of literature - Dante, and Dostoevsky - In the midst of life, we are in death. (Which is from the Book of Common Prayer, right before the whole ashes to ashes bit, in case you were wondering.)
I don't know why K8's word for this year is life. I do know I'm being reminded of how finite and fragile life is, how meaningless words are in the face of death. How offering a shot of whisky and some ice cream, time spent together with people we care about is really all that matters.
the sun is in the east,
rising for the beasts and the beauties
if only I could tear it down,
plant it in the ground to warm your face
the world carries on without you
but nothing remains the same
- alison sudol
1 comment:
I chose the word life in order to stick-it to death. I'd say I'm working on a 20% success rate. We'll see.
Thanks for your heart. It's big and kind and lovely for a friend.
k8
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