“How do I get off the fucking friend pile?”

This was the question of the day last night, as one of my best friends in the whole entire world compared herself to Fred on the Bachelorette . I have not watched the show, but apparently Fred is great. Heck, Ellen endorsed him. I would totally take Ellen’s opinion of a guy any day. What’s wrong with this DeAnna chick?

“He was great. Funny, sweet, etc. DeAnna said something like ‘one day you’ll make someone very happy’ and I wanted to scream. Do you know how many times I’ve heard that? For fifteen years, people. Just like Fred, I’ll be sent home every time, even though everybody knows I’m great.”

So Fred, if you’re in the market, I’ve got a great girl for you.