according to the map...

from national geographic's february 07 issue (Thanks k8 and Strangemaps), there are more single men in seattle than in baltimore. I'm wondering why I've dated far less here than there. unless there's been some sort of mass exodus within a year.

In other news, my friend ST's start up made the Israel National News. And also Dave Barry's blog. How cool is that?

Shirley Temple's back,

reincarnated in my hair...I decided two months ago to grow it out, and the painful process is being helped along by my curling iron, which gives me deliciously bouncy curls. I look like I'm about 10 and can burst into "good ship lollipop" at any point in time.

Speaking of hair, there's a hilarious article about beards from the seattle weekly blogs...I've never seen my dad without his beard in his life, and occassionally all of us siblings will petition him to shave it off for some momentous occassion. He alsways refuses.

I ain't nobody's baby ~ Sharon Jones...

and the Dap Kings, who are AMAZING, played at the Zoo last night. That's right, the zoo. It's a great venue. Here's a bit of what you missed, although this is not the full band version and you should go play around on Youtube right now and listen to how great the Dap Kings all are. I'm in love with Sugarman. Honestly.





I could listen to them forever.

Also, Marc Broussard opened, and while he was slightly overdressed for Seattle, in a cute sort of Southern gentleman kind of way, his voice was seductively raspy, and his lyrics good and honest. He does sound a lot better in person than in other media, just a tip.

Why do you think people are questioning traditional ways of doing church? A.K.A. I have the coolest friends EVER.

K8's on the front page of relevant magazine, in their video section, from an interview at the Church Basement Roadshow... Good answer, k8! Johhny V also makes an appearance. Go Journey!

and another thing: watermelon kegs for summertime

K8 says we should do this when she comes into town, and I might have to agree with her. Drinks with watermelon sound fantasticly like summer, either way. And it's almost happy hour time, folks.

"The trouble with the rat race is..."

This might be the coolest way rats are helpful on our planet EVER. (thanks for the link, Johnny V!)

"How ya doin'? I just moved from San Diego, I'm lonely. I need a snowflake." - Man in '94 Buick, probably in his 50's or 60's...

I put a dress on this morning and regretted it when I looked outside at the gloomy gray sky (it’s July people, July!!!), but I was late for work so threw on a sweatshirt and long raincoat before running out the door to make sure I’d have enough time to walk to work….Made me think about the time BeCs was riding the bus and someone told her, “You’re homeless, I can tell,” because she was wearing so many layers. That’s what I thought I looked like this morning, a homeless woman. Honestly. Who wears three layers in July?

I was noticing a lovely clothesline with freshly washed clothes hanging off it, remembering how my grandmother never owned a clothes dryer, and how the smell of her clothes was simply divine, when a Buick billowing blue-gray exhaust drove past and stopped. I figured the driver would ask for directions. He didn't. The first words out of his mouth were the quote above, and it took me a second to realize snowflake meant “white girl.” I smiled, said thanks for the offer, and kept walking to work. I'm trying to be open to what the universe is sending me, but I can't break the 1/2 + 7 rule.

"Hand me my purse, will you darling? A girl can't read that sort of thing without her lipstick." - Holly Golightly

And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

- Deep Blue Something


Audrey Hepburn is a classic. Favorite quotes from Breakfast at Tiffany's are below:




Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul: Mean reds? You mean like the blues?

Holly: No, the blues are different. The blues are when you're getting fatter or its been raining too long but you're just sad that's all. Oh, but the mean reds are terrible. You're suddenly afraid and you don't even know why. Well, anyways,when I get the mean read the only good things to do is jump in a cab and go over to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away. So quiet and respectable nothing bad could ever happen to you there. If I ever found a place like Tiffany's, oh well, I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

____________________________________________________________________

It should take you 4 seconds to get from here to that door. I'll give you two.

____________________________________________________________________


I didn't want Jose to think I was the kind of girl to lose her key, so I had 26 of them made.

____________________________________________________________________

She's a phony, but she's a real phony.

___________________________________________________________________

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-You-Are? You're chicken. You've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact.' People do fall in love. People do belong to each other. Because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness. You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, yet you're terrified that somebody's gonna put you in a cage. Well, baby, you're already in a cage and you built it yourself. And it's not bound on the east by Somali land or on the west by Tulip, Texas. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you're always going to end up running into yourself.

Friday Pop Quiz: Why are you still single?

And now it's time for a little weekend humor.


Favorite Question at Parties: Why are you still single?

2nd Favorite Question at Parties: Do you have any prospects?

( I really am not bitter about this question, I laugh at it, but honestly, I get this one a lot. My reply is of course, yes, half the world is guys and I love them all, but....if you can keep yourself from asking this question, you will get major points in the friend basket. )



So in order to answer these lovely questioners, I went to take a quiz on Tickle, which is actually a site that caused two of my friends to marry each other. No joke. I'm against online dating, or i would try it.

According to Tickle's test, I am still single because I don't want to commit to anyone. I already knew about my fear of commitment, so this isn't surprising, but I was surprised to see it come up on the test as the reason. Makes me wonder what other reasons there are. You should take the test and let me know what you get.

All the Pretty Little Horses (Hush-a-bye) - Traditional American Folk

This is Thomas, wrapped up in a quilt K8 made with love. I remember visiting K8 a couple years ago as she pieced the design together, and her stitching it, worrying it wouldn't be done on time, and hoping with all the hope you have when a new baby comes into the world. We are happy he was here for a little bit, but mostly sad right now since he is drifting away from us.

I've had the Weepies in my head today, the one about taking comfort wherever you can, and it's not been very terribly comforting, but it's what I've got today:

Comfort (from A Bird Flies Out, Deb Talan)

When everyone has gone to sleep and you are wide awake

there's no one left to tell your troubles to.

Just an hour ago, you listened to their voices

lilting like a river over underground

and the light from downstairs came up soft like daybreak

dimly as the heartache of a lonely child.
If you can't remember a better timeyou can have mine, little one.

In days to come when your heart feels undone

may you always find an open hand

and take comfort wherever you can.
And oh, it's a strange place.

And oh, everyone with a different face

but just like you thought when you stopped here to linger

we're only as separate as your little fingers.
So cry, why not? we all do

then turn to one you love

and smile a smile that lights up all the room.

Follow your dreams in through every out-door

it seems that's what we're here for.
And when you can't remember a better time

you can have mine, little one.

In days to come when your heart feels undone

may you always find an open hand

and take comfort, there is comfort.

Take comfort wherever you can, you can, you can.

"You don't measure?" - Gretzky

"Hell, no." - Arthur

"Right." - Gretzky


I was learning how to make coffee in our new machine at work at 7:30 this morning before an early meeting. When I was teaching, 7:30 felt like 10 a.m., but these days it feels like an ungodly hour, especially since things don't really hum around my office til 10 or so.

My observations from this morning are as follows:

1) It's really awesome to have a boss who curses. I know "hell" might not totally count as one of those hard curses, but I'm just sayin', it's okay for me to let loose with words not uttered in polite company, and since I do this frequently - I blame it all on Bmore and Sarah-Jane Irwin Wells, by the way - it's nice to have a boss who doesn't care.

2) Making coffee continues to mystify me. I can make those silly fancy drinks since I once in a galaxy far far away was a barista, sort of, but the regular drip coffee expertise eludes me. Is it one teaspoon for every cup? One tablespoon for every cup? Arthur just poured a bunch of grounds in, and it was perfect - strong, but not so strong it takes the hair off your chest. But I wasn't really awake yet, and although I watched carefully while he poured the coffee in, I couldn't really tell you how much he put in to get that perfect pot.

3) Even when I get to work at 7:15, nothing productive happens in my brain until maybe 9:20. Maybe. That's pushing it, even. So I probably shouldn't bother going in early to catch up on things, it doesn't work out well for me.

4) I am a girl who likes to measure. Kind of freaks me out a little bit not to measure. Probably this is why my baked goods always turn out well but I'm still learning to cook. I have a hard time trusting my gut in things. I like to analyze and over-analyze so I'm confident I'm making the right decision. Blink is helping me not do this as much.

"fishing. for lake trout." - anne

of green gables is still amazing.

i hate cancer

i found out last week that three of my friend's moms have cancer, and also, there's thomas.

reasons not to make out at a wedding

#1 Because you will fall asleep in the dress your mom painstakingly stitched, and then rush to get to the airport, throwing it over your head and into your suitcase. When you get to the next wedding the following weekend (which you will have packed for at 1 a.m. the night before you leave, throwing the dress you made out in from the laundry basket into the suitcase with a pair of tennis shoes and a t-shirt, figuring it worked well last weekend and you might as well use it to see what happens this time), you will get to your destination and have a great time the first day. The next day, about 30 minutes before the actual wedding, when all your hair is done and makeup is perfect and you go to put the dress on, you will realize that the dress is now missing a seam, and the perfectly asymmetrical hem that looked so lovely before is now hanging down to your left ankle on one side and is above your right knee on the other, giving a sort of gwen stefani-like dress rendition, except not as cool because you are not her. You might ask your travel companion what the fuck is wrong with your dress, and they will say, "It looks like there's a seam missing, g."

Also, the lovely empire waist has a rip in it, showing a good amount of skin, requiring a safety pin before going outside. Except you're at a hotel, so you have to go outside 17 minutes before the wedding starts to get a safety pin from the front desk, which will take them 6 minutes, giving you exactly 11 minutes to get to the ceremony. You get in the car and drive to the ceremony while clutching the dress together. In the parking lot at the church, you will safety pin the top of the dress to the bottom, baring your chest while other wedding guests are passing by, hoping they are not paying attention to what's going on in the car. Then, at the actual wedding and reception, you will go into the bathroom about five times to re-pin, because the material is ripping, and half the night you're worrying about your dress falling off of you. Which might be fun for the rest of the wedding guests, but not fun for you when you are at the top of a lovely mountain ski resort and cannot get to the hotel until 10 p.m., when the tram leaves with all the wedding guests.

Thankfully, the dress ends up staying pinned together until the after-party (where a bottle of sambuca, a blender of water, and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly factor in hugely) is over around 3 a.m. and you finally get back to the hotel and crawl into bed.

You wake up in the morning and decide the dress might need to be retired, even though it's served you well in both incarnations.

No more making out at weddings for Gretzky.

"When you've got nowhere to turn, turn on the gas." - Truman Capote

In the hurricane that is sometimes my life, there've been some good moments in the last 60 hours. Not really calm moments, but good ones.

Tuesday night the Round was on and the music was not so great, but the poet was a wordsmith and I had good company.

Yesterday I went on a walk with my new boss and passed some kids playing in the park who he knew. A first grader from Ethiopia told me proudly: "I can spell my name!" He proceeded to do so, sounding out the letters of both his first and last name, and counting letters on his fingers. Adorable. Also, one of my co-workers' mom made me what might have been the most lemony lemon bar in the world, and I was in heaven for a little bit of the afternoon.

Last night University Bridge was up on my way to play kickball. Not to let a ship pass by, just up in the air. I sat there for 20 minutes, getting angrier and angrier, thinking about how hard I wanted to kick the ball. Traffic is not my friend. I probably need to work on patience. And up at bat I kicked three immediate outs, pop flies. Fuckin' a. By the way, for those of you in kickball leagues who are women, don't bunt. Please. It's a disgrace to our gender. This is how we get killed on the field, women come up to bat and bunt. Every time. Maybe once, even twice, I could handle, but really, every time? Just kick. Then we went to Piccolo's and Ti ate a calzone the size of a 2 year old. Quite a feat. On a side note, Piccolo's is across the street from a place Ted Bundy used to frequent, which is kind of creepy.

And BeCs came back from soccer and we watched Once and got sad. I wanted a happy ending. Actually, it was a happy ending of sorts, but it was also sad. I hope this isn't how life really turns out.

BeCs said something about how it's crazy how you have these relationships where you love a person and share a whole part of your life with them, and then you don't have them anymore, you have a different relationship, but that other person is still there, still a part of you somewhere.

And in that vein, about the falling in love versus not falling in love or chemistry or pheromone attraction or whatever you want to call it (P.J. would probably use words like "biological drive to procreate"): If it doesn't happen or does happen, is it because somebody wasn't brave enough, or is it because circumstances do or don't allow for it, you know? I don't know if that makes sense, but it's a question I have right now.

This morning I was prepared to be sad because it's Cab's last day at work and she is moving all the way to Pittsburgh and I can't handle it. But then we had a welcome breakfast from Essential for a new employee, and I had an amazing meeting with an awesome director of such a cool program for kids, and got so excited about the possibilities for kids' learning.

Then I went to a work picnic under overcast skies, which turned to sun shortly after we got there. We had sandwiches from Saigon Deli and then needed to move around. Cab and I started kicking a soccer ball around, and a 4 year old named Jordan asked if he could play with us. He was an awesome kicker.




On the walk back to work, I took the tablecloth, which was really a hibiscus sarong Arthur got from Hawaii, and wore it back to the office. How many times can you go to work with a sarong?

Then I watched three co-workers debate whether or not we should interview someone who submitted a cover letter with the phrase "TWIMC" as the address - as in, To Whom It May Concern. I think this is a use of an innapropriate text, speaking of Cab. Final verdict: Absolutely not.

After work I took the best ten dollar wine ever, the Trout Trilogy 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon, over to Cab's. We walked to heaven in Fremont, otherwise known as Paseo, and ate every delicious bite of caribbean goodness after flirting with the waiter.

And then I managed successfully to not cry as I left. Now the only thing left to do today is figure out whether to wear the blue or red sundress to Meg's rehearsal dinner deal tomorrow and also if I can get away with one pair of high heels for this wedding weekend. I vote yes to this idea.


N.B. By the way, go Enumclaw! When I was in high school, Enumclaw was known for the highest teen pregnancy rate in King county, but it sounds like they've come a long way if they're battling Nestle.

"I'll be there for you..." - the Rembrandts

I've been thinking a lot about what I could say about the wedding I got be part of this weekend, and I didn't really know what to say about it. Then I read sarah hepola's July 6th blog, and she says it all so perfectly. I feel just like she does about these amazing people in my life, which is pretty lucky...It was an honor to celebrate with my friends, and an amazingly fantastic day. And I'm trying not to complain these days about not having found the right one and instead spend my time being thankful for all the amazing people I do have in my life, who are beyond phenomenal in so many ways, I can't list them here or it would take too long.

Like Yeats said, "Think where man's glory most begins and ends/ And say my glory was I had such friends." It's good to spend time in glory.

"Basically, I'm a mouse pimp." - P.J.

"You want the mice to have sex?" - Gretzky

"As often as possible." - P.J.

P.J. just started his first real job after college, as a research assistant for one of Paul Allen's many ventures, which really means he's trying to get mice to procreate with different genetic markers. Not really my cup of tea, but he likes it. Also, he borrowed my car this weekend and changed my oil for me, and put in a new tailight , which gives him huge bonus points in the world of little brothers. Or in any world, let's be honest.

In other news, the great Howard Schultz is talking about pursuing a suit against Bennett, and I just have to say, what an idiot for selling them in the first place. Not a fan of Starbucks at the moment. (As I drink my Starbucks chai, I'll be honest.)

K8: "he's getting married this weekend, so probably never..."

While waiting for the most important part of the Toronto wedding festivities this weekend - the t-shirts for the softball game, due to be delivered by UPS sometime today before 8 p.m., (they have 1 hour, 28 minutes, and counting) a telemarketer called to ask when Dave would be available.

Then I called to be let in, and now, no one is calling. Come on, UPS Man!! T-shirts, we need t-shirts before we can go to the Fox and the Fiddle and join the fun there...

In other news, Toronto is great. The streets are wide and the houses crazy colors - lime and yellow, water lily purple and then colors extending onto the sidewalk with fresh fruit stands every other block...Fresh peaches, tomatoes,...yum. I didn't get Tim Horton's Hot Chocolate this morning because it's not cold enough, but I think I might have to before Sunday night...And I hopped onto a bus this morning and it was so easy and took me so quickly where I wanted to go that I immediately started crafting a letter to Seattle Sound Transit in my head about how much more tourist friendly we could make Seattle's transportation system...

The UPS Man is here! Woo-hoo!! Here's to softball games at weddings!

"I'm divorcing the league. You know how Simmons is a hockey widow? I'm going to be a basketball widow." - P.J.

I'm taking a moment of silence for the Sonics and protesting yesterday's decision. If only Sherman Alexie could have saved the day.

I'm feeling pretty Over the Rhine today....particularly the first three songs from the Trumpet Child, which I print here for your enjoyment and also hopefully to encourage you to go buy their music, because they are awesome. Reading the songs isn't as good as hearing them, but it helps to imagine yourself in a smoky nightclub in a sultry dress with gentleman in black tie and ice clinking in the background. Think the bar at the Triple Door, which always makes me feel like I should be wearing real stockings and costume jewelry right out of the 40's, like Greta Garbo in Ninotchka. Or let's be honest, in any movie she made. Also, I'm enjoying McSweeney's Lists today, particularly Geometric Relationships.


I Don’t Wanna Waste Your Time
(L. Detweiler)

I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need
Why should I autograph the book
That you won’t even read
I’ve got a different scar for every song
And blood left still to bleed
But I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need

I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around
I love to laugh but I’m more than just
Your alcoholic clown
I won’t pray this prayer with you
Unless we both kneel down
I don’t wanna waste good wine
If you won’t stick around

Come on lighten up
Let me fill your cup
I’m just trying to imagine a situation
Where we might have a real conversation

But I don’t wanna waste the words
That you don’t seem to need
When it comes to wanting what’s real
There’s no such thing as greed
I hope this night puts down deep roots
I hope we plant a seed
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste your time
With music you don’t need


Trouble
(K. Bergquist)

If you came to make some trouble
Better make it good
Your sexy cocktail hour stubble
Is doing what it should
Looks may be sweet and subtle
I think it’s trouble honey
I think it’s good
If you came to make trouble
Make me a double honey
I think it’s good

Novices have expectations
‘Cause they think they should
Experts have their revelations
Like they knew they would
What may seem complicated
Is overstated downright misunderstood
Love will not be outdated
Maybe placated but it’s got to be good

We’re so precarious with semantics
I think this could be trouble
I think it’s trouble honey
I think it’s good
If you came to make trouble
Make me a double honey
I think it’s good

What may seem complicated
Is overstated downright misunderstood
Love will not be outdated
Maybe placated but it’s got to be good
We’re far too serious
I think we could be
Such nefarious pyromantics



I’m On A Roll
(L. Detweiler/K. Bergquist)

Black flamenco shoes
Dahlias in my hair
Garters on my stockings
The sidewalk bends to stare
I’m on a roll

Ambition may be blind
Diamonds come from coal
You provide the rhythm babe
I’ll provide the soul
I’m on a roll

This oyster is my world
My oyster’s got a pearl
This ain’t no dress rehearsal
I’m a very lucky girl
I’m on a roll

Tastes sweet on my lips
Tender on my tongue
All the road’s ahead of me
Oh the night is young
I’m on a roll

I’m on a roll
Just like I oughta
I’m on a roll
I can’t be bothered
I’m on a roll
I want the whole enchilada
I’m on a roll

Baby’s got his bullhorn
Confetti’s in the air
We’re shakin’ up Show Ponies
‘Cause we haven’t got a care
I’m on a roll

I’m on a roll
Just like I oughta
I’m on a roll
I can’t be bothered
I’m on a roll
Cincinnati to Ensenada
I’m on a roll
From the thrift store to Prada
I’m on a roll
La de dah…

ALEXIE: ".....They became my team."

MR. KELLER: Excuse me, your Honor. I hate to interrupt but maybe we could have a question.

THE COURT: That is actually the way it goes.

MS. JENSEN: I understand, your Honor.


I know I've expounded on Sherman Alexie's virtues before, but I swear to God, if the man wasn't married I'd be stalking him right now. Read the transcript from the Sonics trials that my friend Andrew posted. Alexie's frickin' hilarious, and he's a Sonics fan. Does it get any better than this?

Also, where else but in Seattle would Alexie be put on the witness stand as an expert? Let's be honest.

The PI column was also good, but not as funny as the transcript.