Thursday, January 3, 2008

"You know how they say spiders are more afraid of you than you are of them? That’s how guys are.." P.J.

The whole dating thing continues to elude me. I thought by this point in my life I would have figured it out, but I'm still mystified by exactly how it all works. Especially after conversations like the following, which really did take place a couple weeks ago.

Setting: December afternoon. Katherine's apartment living room. The Christmas lights are blinking through the window, and we're discussing the possibility of Katherine watching Christmas ships from Golden Gardens at the bonfire with a nice guy who's asked her on a second date. She's nervous.


Katherine:
I don’t want to go out with him. My stomach turns over and I get too nervous and I don’t know what to say. I’m canceling. Watching the Christmas ships is too romantic for a second date. I’m canceling.

Gretzky: You have to give this guy a second chance. He’s polite, smart, has a job, has good friends, and called mid-week to tell you he had a good time with you. I think he’s a good candidate for a second date.

Katherine: We’ll be on the beach and I won’t know what to say and I’ll have to walk in the sand and it’ll get in my shoes and…

Gretzky: He’s picking you up in 15 minutes. This is not a good time to cancel. And it’s not romantic to go on the beach and watch the ships. There’ll be 8 billion people there, and you’ll smell like smoke from the bonfire.

Katherine: I’m too nervous.

Gretzky:
Everybody’s nervous. It’s what happens when you go on a date. It’s okay. It’s normal. You’re supposed to be nervous. That means it’s going well.



After conversations like this I wonder how people ever start dating in the first place...

(Katherine called me afterwards to say that he was nice but there were no sparks. I told her to give him another shot, because butterflies in the stomach could be a spark-like quality...Also because I have a soft spot for nice shy guys who have a hard time getting the nerve to ask a girl out in the first place. But seriously, if you're one of those nice quiet guys reading this, ask her. She might say yes.)

3 comments:

Ingrid said...

Hi, this is the author of Contrariness. Pleased to make your acquaintance. I have a little gizmo on my blog that tells me when I get hits from links on other websites, which is how I found you. Mind if I return the honor?

Commend P.J. on his or her wisdom - the spiders quotation is hilarious, and so true. It's comforting to think that maybe guys are the spiders and not me. :P Too bad that sometimes there is a fascinating, adorable, quality spider who I think might be worth my while if we could just get over our mutual terror and revulsion. People are terribly silly, no?

Gretzky said...

P.J. is my younger brother, and he surprises me with his wisdom sometimes.

Ingrid said...

Question: If a girl ever gets close enough to kiss said spider, does he turn into a prince? ;)

No wonder people like fairytales. In real life, for example, you might be in danger of kissing what looks like a prince only to have him turn into a frog.

Not that I want to marry royalty . . . I wouldn't make a good princess at all.